Break from Then & Now by CØL

You tell me it will get easier
But life always fucks me

You told me it's okay
I'll be better one day

But I wont see the grass on the other side
I'll rot alone, and I'm so fucking dead inside
My pulse is fading, it's going away
Now tell me again how everything will be okay

Ignore the blood on my neck, it's just a means to cope
Ignore the scars on my thighs, it's better than a rope

You see me and I know you're fucking sick
How could such a bright light dim out like this?
How could such a happy boy turn into nothing?
How can so little potential turn into something

Something worth anything
Something that can think
Something that can feel
Something that could ever fucking heal

I feel nothing all the time
And that nothing will end my fucking life
Another night
Another night with a knife
Deeper in my skin
So much deeper than last time

My patience is wearing thin
Im tired of watching myself cry
I'm tearing away at my skin
Just give me a reason why

Why do I want to die?
Why can't I feel alive?
What do I do to smile again?
Is happiness just a lie?

24 years of bullshit
Wasted potential
16 years of coping
With the fact I have my hands full

Tell me about the time
About the time I contemplated
About eating a gun
And making love with its chamber

A 9-m-m
I wanna see the way out
I've reached a deadend
I'll see my fucking way out

No I'm safe
I promise it
I'm just talking to myself
And I'm lost in it

Words don't mean anything
When no one is listening Il
I'm barely living
And it's fucking killing me

• Electronic
• Experimental
• depressive
• depressive electronic
• experimental electronic
• genre-bending
• Massachusetts